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Sat, Nov. 27th, 2004, 01:34 am

originally this post was going to be titled 'could this day suck anymore?' but i decided that sending out a blanket invitation made about as much as sense as the last 5 relationships i've been in

to put it bluntly, i'm tired of getting fucked (not that way, hell, i'd like some of that) but it seems like that's all i ever get. and you know, i hate to sound whiny or selfish but jeez, i can only take so much before my nasty side comes out, and she came out with both barrels today. i'm tired of being used by people that call themselves "friends", i'm tired of being preached to about my past recreations by "friends" who stayed up all night thursday night recreating, and i'm really fucking tired of being treated like i can't do things with anyone just because i'm the only person with a child out of the people i choose to be around that has custody of their child and is the only person to take care of said child. you know what, i don't give a fuck if i sound whiny and pissed because i am pissed, and hurt. it hurts that i get judged by people that consider themselves better than me when i've done nothing, yeah, i've shot tons of coke into my veins, and if i want to do it again, i will. don't get all high and mighty about how you're not doing drugs right now b/c you're wanting to have another baby when you stay up all night smoking crack (yes kids, coke and baking soda on foil that you inhale the fumes of is CRACK) when you don't even have custody of the child you already have, and don't get pissed at me when i give and give and give to help you survive and then bitch at me, or rather have your man of the minute try to get into it b/c you know that you're so in the wrong that you can't even defend your actions in any way shape or form after i've given more than you have to support you. don't ignore my calls when i try to contact you to work things out amicably, don't talk about me, don't comment about me, don't even fucking think about me if you don't have the balls to say something of interest and intellect about whatever situation applies to you and i to my face. i haven't mentioned names here b/c the ones i'm talking about know exactly who they are, and most of my friends know who i'm talking about so i'm sure it'll get spread about fast, but i don't like to be accused of starting drama, god for-fucking-bid everyone act like ADULTS, which we're supposed to be

i had less fucking bullshit in my life in high school, and only one of you knew me then and can attest to the fact that my high school experience would put ANY soap opera to shame, then it would have, now 5-someish secret gay lovers where ones is publicly straight but pissed at the girl for not liking him when he was getting his from the other guy must be common place

that sentence made about as much sense as my life, but i know one of you got it

i am now going for a smoke, i think i'll see if i can actually see the shit as it hits the fan this time


i'm going to get drunk
fuck everyone

Sun, Dec. 12th, 2004 10:18 am (UTC)

this is a little late but I know how you feel/felt. I get used by 'friends' all the time, which is the reason I don't associate with many of them anymore. A few weeks ago I was begged to go to a school football game with my "best friend" and when we got there she ditched me for this guy she didn't even know. He told me to get lost and she laughed...bitch